Healthy Friendships
According to friendship researchers (yes! there is such a thing!), there are eight important things that true blue friendships have:
1) Positive Feelings. You feel fondly about the other person; spending time with them leaves you feeling happy and relaxed most of the time.
2) Satisfaction. Overall, you believe this is a good friend and you are glad to be a part of this friendship.
3) Stimulating Companionship. You find this person interesting and being with them is a fun way to spend your time.
4) Help. You know that you can count on this person if you need help - and you know you would help them if they needed you.
5) Intimacy. You feel safe sharing your thoughts and feelings with this person.
6) Reliable Alliance. You trust that this person will stand by your side even when you disagree.
7) Self-validation. This person accepts you just the way you are.
8) Emotional security. You believe that you can be the real you around this person.
1) Positive Feelings. You feel fondly about the other person; spending time with them leaves you feeling happy and relaxed most of the time.
2) Satisfaction. Overall, you believe this is a good friend and you are glad to be a part of this friendship.
3) Stimulating Companionship. You find this person interesting and being with them is a fun way to spend your time.
4) Help. You know that you can count on this person if you need help - and you know you would help them if they needed you.
5) Intimacy. You feel safe sharing your thoughts and feelings with this person.
6) Reliable Alliance. You trust that this person will stand by your side even when you disagree.
7) Self-validation. This person accepts you just the way you are.
8) Emotional security. You believe that you can be the real you around this person.
Connecting with Others
You do need to put work into a friendship. Remember the golden rule of reciprocity - you should be putting as much in as you are taking. Does your friend ask you about your day, opinions, and invite you to pick the activity? Do you make sure to ask them questions about them, listen to their thoughts and encourage them to share their ideas for how you spend time together? To have a good friend, you have to be a good friend!
One way to think about how we show care and concern to others is through love languages. How do you best feel connected? Your family members? Your friends? Using these love languages as a guide, think about how you can fill someone else's bucket with positivity.
One way to think about how we show care and concern to others is through love languages. How do you best feel connected? Your family members? Your friends? Using these love languages as a guide, think about how you can fill someone else's bucket with positivity.
Establishing Healthy Boundaries
During the adolescent and teen years, peer influence replaces parental influence as the primary source for connection and self-development. The peer group, including friends and significant relationships, will impact all areas of life. Learning to set healthy boundaries during this transitory period is an important skill to master as it will have consequences now and in the future. This chart compares the differences between healthy and unhealthy boundaries.
Dealing with Conflict
Every relationship is going to come into trouble sometime. But keep in mind that not all conflict is a bad thing. Conflict can be useful because it helps people get to the bottom of a situation - so long as everybody agrees to talk it through in a way that is fair. Check out these tips to fighting fair. Or these tips for being assertive about your needs.
Making Up.
Sometimes, you might recognize that you owe someone an apology for something you've done that has caused hurt. Knowing how to apologize fully is a key relationship skill.